Miscellany, Jan. 6, 1947 | TIME
A calendar of triumphs, defeats and contortions of the human spirit during 1946:
Hit the Ceiling (Jan.). In Tokyo, ricksha boys and pedestrians sprinted their damnedest to comply with U.S. 35-m.p.h. speed-limit signs.
Geronimo! (Feb.). In Port Chester, N.Y., pajama-clad ex-Paratrooper Thomas Thomas bailed out of his second-floor bedroom, landed unhurt, explained: “I could swear I heard the sergeant yell ‘Jump!”:
Put Up or Climb Out (March). In Vancouver, Mrs. W. Davis complained to police that a man who had slept in her bathtub for several nights would neither leave nor pay rent.
Rebuttal (April). In Detroit, wife-beater Zigmund Norkoski, under court injunction not to lay a hand on her, found a way: butting her with his head.
In Sheep’s Clothing (May). In Ottawa, on meatless Tuesday, a lunchroom patron thrust a struggling sheep on a pop-eyed waiter, barked: “Make me a mutton sandwich.”
Trafalgar Traveler (June). In Chatham, England, midwatch sentries at ancient St. Mary’s Naval Barracks complained of being bothered nightly by a one-legged mariner of Lord Nelson’s era.
Pennywise (July). In Portland, Ore., street orator Phillip Baker demanded that police protect his right of free speech, said that every time he opened his mouth a listening drunk tossed in a penny.
Color Question (Aug.). In Columbus, Ohio, a housepainter, exasperated by the endless questions of three-year-old Harold Thompson, painted him red, sent him home. Scrubbed, the boy returned, got a battleship grey treatment.
Air-Cooled (Sept.). In Council Bluffs, Iowa, Ernest Medley begged police to reroute planes that flew low over his house, complained that the wind from the propellers often blew off his hat, that the suction pulled off his bedcovers.
Combat Fatigue (Oct.). In Chattanooga, Mildred Underwood got her 16th divorce, explained: “I get tired of them.”
Federal Reserve (Nov.). In East Weymouth, Mass., Sam Schofield bought 64 bars of Army surplus soap, each stamped: “Save Soap to Win the War. (Signed) Commander in Chief, Abraham Lincoln.”
Graduation Exercise (Dec.). In Grand Rapids, Marjorie Baker, 13, married a 23-year-old ex-convict, explained why: “I just couldn’t stand the thought of going through seventh grade again.”
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